CNBC reports that inventories of wine are experiencing shortages, meaning that it’s about to get much more expensive to have that glass of pinot with dinner. Or we can all take a page from our inmate population and start drinking toilet wine. That wouldn’t be fun. Or safe. For anyone.

As demand for beer decreases and demand for mixed drinks and wine increases-at an expected growth rate of around 7-11% this year-suppliers are facing the end result of a supply decision they made during the recession. According to Rob McMillan of Silicon Valley Bank’s wine division:

To correct an oversupply of high-end wine during the recession, wineries had to move the excess supply through the distribution channel so later vintages could sell at a normal price, McMillan said. But inventories have since pared the excess supply, and several varietals are now experiencing shortages.

That, combined with the slightly small harvest this year makes it apparent that shortages are coming. Supposedly high end Cabernets and Zinfandels are “clearly short” while the closest to being normal are Merlot and Syrah. Everything else in between is presumably on the shorter side, which means less wine to help you get over the pain of losing your house. And having no money.

[CNBC, Image Credit: ol_vic/Shutterstock]

Clark was the famed host of such shows as American Bandstand and Pyramid. He was forced to retire from hosting his long-running New Year’s Rockin’ Eve special in 2005 after he suffered a serious stroke.

He leaves behind his third wife, Kari Wigton, and three children from previous marriages.

Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) suffered two black eyes and a broken nose playing hockey around New Year’s Day. Can anyone tell us why a 68-year-old man is playing hockey? You would think that hockey, being a fast-paced game would be kinda difficult for someone who takes three years to speak a sentence.

Check out this video of some Chinese soldiers tossing a live grenade around like it’s nothing, throwing it into a hole and dramatically jumping away as the charge detonates. What the hell are they doing this for? Are they fucking nuts?

It appears that the video is an instructional one for dignitaries, but we don’t speak Mandarin so we can only guess.

Today state senator Mary Margaret Haugen (D), announced she would vote for the bill, giving it just enough votes to pass in the Senate. It already has enough votes in the House and Governor Chris Gregoire already pledged to sign it into law. Haugen said in her statement, that she took so long to decide because she had “to reconcile my religious beliefs with my beliefs as an American, as a legislator, and as a wife and mother who cannot deny to others the joys and benefits I enjoy.”

If you were fortunate enough not to drown in last week’s cruise ship disaster in Italy, Costa Cruises would like to reward you. No, not with a free cruise, but with 30% off your next cruise! Costa Cruises spokespeople confirmed to the Telegraph that, “The company is not only going to refund everybody but they will offer a 30 per cent discount on future cruises if they want to stay loyal to the company.”

Happy sailing!

Huge star and international celebrity, Kevin “K-Fed” Federline, was hospitalized due to chest pains, while filming on the Australian weight loss show called “Excess Baggage” The Telegraph said.

A spokesperson for the show confirmed that Federline’s pulse rate spiked to an unhealthy level during one of the show’s fitness challenges. Don’t worry all you tens of K-Fed fans, he’s in no way any closer to dying, but the trip to the ER was just a precaution.

[Via D-Listed, image via Splash News]

Representative Gabrielle Giffords of Arizona announced that she will be stepping down from Congress later this week, just over a year after being shot by Jared Lee Loughner in Tucson. She announced her decision in a YouTube video posted Sunday afternoon.

If you go swimming in Papua New Guinea, guard your balls, because this fish wants to eat them. The Pacu Fish has human-like teeth and thoroughly enjoys biting testicles, ensuring a nice slow, bloody death.

The Pacu Fish is known as the ‘Ball Cutter’ in Papua New Guinea, according to the Telegraph. Locals have reported two deaths as a result of the Pacu Fish ball-bite. According to reports, the Pacu Fish goes to town on unsuspecting fishermen and swimmers when they’re in the water. What. The. Hell.

The Pacu can grow up to 60 pounds, ensuring my travel plans never include New Guinea.

Stop your bitching about that new Wal-Mart that just opened in your neighborhood, super low prices are the least of your local small business’ worries. Amazon, apparently not happy with the fact that it’s slowly destroying America’s economy, announced it will pay customers $5 to go into a local store, scan an item, walk out, and buy the same item on Amazon.

To get the $5 discount, you’re supposed to use Amazon’s “Price Check” iPhone and Android app to scan in the bar code of an item and then indicate what price the item is being sold at. This gives Amazon valuable intelligence on how various retailers are pricing various items. “We scour online and in-store advertisements from other retailers, every day, year-round,” an Amazon director said on All Things D. Now Amazon won’t have to employ those intelligence-gatherers because it has a mobile force of millions of dolts who will gladly rat out their local retailer who pump precious taxes into local economies, just to save $5 on a toaster oven or Kindle Fire.

If Amazon was asking people to do this to Wal-Mart, it’d be a different issue. But please don’t be an asshole walking from local store to local store, scanning products and buying them somewhere else.