A BP oil pipeline in Alaska leaked “a mixture of methanol and oily produced water” on Saturday during routine summer maintenance, but no more than 4,200 gallons spilled out (allegedly).
Free of any bias. Except for that liberal elitist one.
Category Archives: Stupid Sh*#
Man Who ‘Appears to Be’ Gay Rejected by Blood Center
Meet Aaron Pace. He’s a 23 year-old straight man from Gary, Indiana who wanted to donate blood at his local blood and plasma center. However, after going through the usual interview process, he was told by members of the staff that he “appear[ed] to be a homosexual” and, because of that, couldn’t donate.
I didn’t realize there was a gay ‘look’. Sure, anyone wearing Prada loafers, carrying a Louis Vuitton handbag and skinny tee should be gay, but Pace doesn’t look all that gay to me. It’s not clear how Pace’s “looks, character, and behavior” made him “appear” homosexual, given that no one from Bio-Blood Components Inc. is discussing the matter with the media. Either way, Pace says he was “humiliated and embarrassed” by the experience.
A Food and Drug Administration policy—enacted in 1983 for HIV fear reasons—prohibits men who have had sex with men ever (since 1977) from donating blood gives blood donation centers permission to turn away gay men. FYI, all blood is now tested for HIV, since HIV can be transmitted between heterosexuals, it is senseless to discriminate against gay men who wish to donate blood. But it looks like the ban will remain in place for a while: The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, which had an opportunity to change it last year, decided to leave it as-is.
[Sun-Times, Image via Sun-Times]
Michelle Bachmann Can’t Speak Yiddish
Michelle Bachman is a true American! No, really. This isn’t a slam of her, we promise we’re not making fun of her. She’s so American, that she’s totally not Jewish. She proved this on Faux News while saying “chutzpah” with unusual aggression. CHOOTS-pah. CHOOTS-pah!
If NYC Gets Bike Lanes, The Terrorists Win, Says CBS Reporter
As if terrorists didn’t have enough on their minds, trying to implant bombs into jihadist’s bodies and all, they’re apparently planning on packing their Huffy bikes with explosives and riding down Manhattan’s bike lanes to blow shit up. That’s what crusading anti-bike lane CBS 2 reporter Marcia Kramer says will happen on bike lanes on second avenue and across the city. That’s why she’s on a mission to put an end to those terrorist-loving lanes.
Marcia Kramer is on the scene at a proposed Manhattan bike lane: “A Second Avenue bike lane is next to the Israeli Consulate,” she says. “Imagine if the man on the bike was a terrorist!”
Terrifying. Especially that bicycle basket and streamers coming out of the handle bars.
Gawker.com raises all the important questions;
Which raises the questions: Why do we allow bike lanes at all? Why are we making it easier for environmentally-friendly terrorists to wreck havoc on our cities? If your house is on a street with a bike lane, you may as well have a big bullseye over your roof with the words “bomb me,” stenciled in big red letters.
Exactly. They wrap it up with;
Outlawing bike lanes will eliminate the threat of bicycle-based terrorism, since you’d have to be a suicidal maniac to ride on a street without a bike lane.
Katy Perry Has The Hershey Squirts, Cancels Shows
I guess Katy Perry really is a real person. The singer, and-until now-Japanese cartoon character, cancelled two of her shows because she has been “struck down” with food poisoning!
The ‘Teenage Dream’ hitmaker – who is currently performing across the US as part of her ‘California Dreams’ tour – has been forced to cancel a number of her concerts after suffering from “severe dehydration” as a result of the sudden illness.
According to a statement from promoters Jam Productions, the singer has rescheduled her July 8 show at Chicago’s Allstate Arena for August 21, and her July 9 gig at St. Paul’s Xcel Energy Center for August 23.
Katy said: “I apologize to my fans in Chicago and the Twin Cities for not being able to perform this weekend, but I am going to return in a few weeks to give them the very best show ever!”
Father Angry Over Missing Cologne Gets Son Killed
The week isn’t over yet, but this has to be a dead ringer for saddest story of the week:
Isayah Muller (pictured-left) graduated from high school in the Bronx on Tuesday. Afterwards, he went out to a celebration dinner with his family. When his father, Andre, got back in the car after the dinner, he found that a $200 bottle of cologne was missing. Andre, with his family in the car, drove back to the parking garage where he’d been parked and confronted the attendants there, accusing them of stealing the cologne. They let him search the office. He couldn’t find it and apparently wasn’t pleased that he was wrong. Police say he attacked one of the parking attendants, punching him. The other attendant grabbed a knife to defend his colleague.
Seeing his father fighting with the attendants, Isayah rushed to protect his dad — and Encarnacion allegedly stabbed the teen once in the chest, piercing his heart.
Isayah died hours later. The parking attendants have not been charged. Andre’s been charged with assault.
[NYP. Photo: AP]
Southwest Airlines Pilot Accidentally Broadcasts Masoginistic and Homophobic Rant
A Southwest Airlines pilot has been suspended after he accidentally broadcast his conversation about the “fags” and “grannies” that he works with as flight attendants. Fail.
The victim of a stuck headset microphone, the Southwest pilot who remains unnamed, broadcast his thoughts about the “gay fucking, ass-fucking homosexuals,” “grannies,” and “grandes” (we believe these are fat chicks) that comprise the crew of flight attendants he works with in “party land” Chicago. It appears the conversation was being held with a fellow pilot in the cockpit and was not so private, as it was broadcast to every other plane over Houston at the time. Oops.
He goes on to complain that he never gets to go out with his co-workers, and the one time he did go out with two “chicks” from work, neither of them wanted to sleep with him. We wonder why! Those little cock-teases! He then shares his thoughts on how ugly the women who work in Houston are.
Pilots from other planes in the area made it known quickly that they weren’t responsible for the broadcast. The FAA was notified and they figured out who the culprit was, and Southwest announced that it had suspended the pilot after learning of the incident in March. He’s since been allowed to return to his job, though, following some “diversity education,” the airline said in a statement today.
Do you think Southwest should have allowed this asshole to fly again? Will you be flying the airline after this? What. A. Douchebag.
Montana Is For Angry White People
Montana. Home of picturesque, quaint mountain towns like Kalispell, Montana (pop: 19,927). There, you can curl up with a good book on your deck with a breathtaking view of the mountains, sip coffee from any one of the three local coffee shops, or participate in a white supremacy meeting.
Turns out, Kalispell is a virtual melting pot of angry white people. Like a big fondue pot where everyone’s white, cheesy and bubbling hot. The AP did some searching and found out just who’s moving into the town:
They include former Aryan Nations member Karl Gharst, who last year screened a movie, “Epic: The Story of the Waffen SS,” at the Kalispell library. The showing drew 200 protesters.
White supremacist April Goede and her twin daughters — who once formed the racist pop singing group Prussian Blue — have moved to Kalispell.
Also living nearby is the grand wizard of the angry white man movement in America, Randy Weaver, whose wife and son were killed by federal agents during the Ruby Ridge standoff. And the racist guy who started Oath Keepers. And prominent “patriot” Chuck Baldwin, “who believes the U.S. is headed for a fight between big-government globalists and independent patriots.” Of course, there are a few normal people in Kalispell too, it’s just the crazies that get all the attention.
Painting of Poors Removed from Governor’s Mansion
Republicans are on a roll pissing people off this year. With stripping union bargaining rights, killing Medicare and removing paintings of poor people from public buildings, there are some people that–for some reason–don’t exactly like the GOP this year. Now, America’s favorite Republican from Wisconsin, Gov. Scott Walker, has removed painting of poor, homeless, minority kids from his mansion, because he preferred some painting of an old bald eagle instead.
The painting, by artist David Lenz, has only been up since November. The the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel‘s site has a photo of the painting as well as a description from the artist:
In an interview, Lenz said he carefully selected the three children portrayed in “Wishes in the Wind.” The African-American girl, featured in a Journal Sentinel column on homelessness, spent three months at the Milwaukee Rescue Mission with her mother. The Hispanic girl is a member of the Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater Milwaukee. And the boy’s father and brother were killed by a drunken driver in 2009.
“The homeless, central city children and victims of drunk drivers normally do not have a voice in politics,” Lenz explained in an email. “This painting was an opportunity for future governors to look these three children in the eye, and I hope, contemplate how their public policies might affect them and other children like them.”
“Wishes in the Wind” has been replaced by ”a century-old painting of Old Abe, a Civil War-era bald eagle from Wisconsin.” to “honor the 150th anniversary of the Civil War.” Don’t worry though, the painting has been loaned out to a Milwaukee library, where all the poors can look at it before defecating in the restrooms. Or nonfiction section.
Sarah Palin Explains Paul Revere’s Ride
By now, you’re all well aware that Sarah Palin is an idiot. The Great Family Vacation that is the Sarah Palin bus tour made a stop in Ye Olde Boston, touring the sights, such as Paul Revere’s old shack. Palin, when asked by that ‘gotcha media’, gave a brief history lesson on the colonist’s famous “midnight ride” before the 1775 battles at Lexington and Concord.
He who warned, uh, the British that they weren’t going to be taking away our arms uh by ringing those bells and making sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free and we were going to be armed.
Revere did not warn the British army to step off by ringing bells in their faces and shooting warning shots at them. That would have been counterproductive. Instead, he notified the appropriate colonists in an alarm system chain to give advance warning for protecting the rebel arsenal in Concord. In case you were curious.
America, can we please stop asking Sarah Palin questions? Because I’m tired of hearing her speak, and then having to write stories on how stupid she is.
Thank you.