After a fight with his pregnant girlfriend, a Staten Island man went to her house, stripped naked in the elevator, and took a crap. He then wiped the crap on her door and used his clothes to set the poop and her door on fire.
When cops showed up, they caught him, um, brown handed and still naked. They took him to the station where he proceeded to take another dump in public. At that point, he’s not even doing it for revenge, he’s just being spiteful.
This seems highly inappropriate to follow a story about Eilzabeth Taylor’s Death, but here goes…
Hey sluts! You stop all that sex-having right this instant! Or else! You think it’s cool hooking up every now-and-then for a little bit of the oooh-naw-naw?! Well, I have news for you little whores: Your risk of heart failure is more than doubled during occasional sex. Sex doesn’t seem so “sexy” now, does it?
Researchers who reviewed previous studies on heart attacks found that “episodic activity,” especially among unhealthy people, can trigger a heart attack. Sex, specifically, can raise the risk by as much as 2.7 times. The good news? Regular “physical activity” [wink] offsets the risk by some 45 percent every time it’s undertaken in a given week. So now you have a choice: Have sex, constantly, or never have sex at all. Or, have sex once in a while, and die of a heart attack.
ICANN, the international governing body responsible for giving out domains for websites, has approved the .xxx domain for porn sites. The purpose is to “carve out a portion of the Internet that will be set aside for the adult entertainment industry.”, according to PC magazine. Over 200,000 .xxx sites have already been pre-registered.
Finally, a place for porn on the Internet! Oh, wait, isn’t that already the entire Internet?
Strangely, many in the adult industry are livid about this new development: they’re concerned it might make filtering and censorship easier by lumping all “offensive” content into a web ghetto. For the common Internet user, it should make randomly typing in random websites that less exciting, knowing you’ll never be startled to learn that an innocuous URL leads to a foot fetish website.
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We have to admit, oral sex is pretty amazing. Therefore, it’s got to be bad for us somehow. Apparently, a rise in certain kinds of cancer may be thanks to all the oral sex everyone has nowadays.
As it turns out, scientists have observed a rise in the rates of head and neck cancers in Americans—the kinds of head and neck cancers triggered by HPV. Which can be spread through, you guessed it, oral sex.
“It seems like a pretty good link that more sexual activity, particularly oral sex, is associated with increased HPV infection,” said Dr. Greg Hartig, professor of otolaryngology head and neck surgery at the University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health in Madison….
Although the link between HPV and these types of cancers is indisputable, the association with oral sex is strong but a little more speculative, experts say.
A 2007 study in the New England Journal of Medicine found that younger people with head and neck cancers who tested positive for oral HPV infection were more likely to have had multiple vaginal and oral sex partners in their lifetime.
Luckily for rainbow party-attending, explicitly-sexting tweens, there’s an HPV vaccine, though it’s not as popular as it should be. For the rest of you? Well, you probably already have cancer, from your cell phone or your hot dogs or your insistence on sleeping inside an x-ray machine. So go ahead! Oral sex all you want!